2016 taught me that most people underestimate the damage of a broken heart. Many factors can cause a broken heart, like the death of a loved one, job loss, breakup, abuse, and much more. On this post, I will discuss a broken heart associated with a breakup or the end of a love affair.
In my opinion, the intensity of the pain has a lot to do with the way a person love. I’ve noticed that some people get heart broken, then move on the following week as if nothing ever happened. Kudos to those type of individuals. On the other hand, you have the other kind of people who gets affected very bad, and it takes them longer to get over it. I’m one of those people, so I’m going to focus on that particular type.
First of all, let me describe those type of lovers. We are the ride or die, the ones who fall hard because our heart is very selective. We don’t open up to a lot of people so when we find that one, we give it our all. We are usually very guarded at first because we are afraid of getting hurt, so when we finally let someone in and things don’t go as planned, we are devastated!!! When our heart gets broken, it’s like the end of the world. The pain is REAL, our heart literally aches. It’s like nothing else matters, and we don’t know better. Some of us gain, and some lose weight. I’m one of those of people who binge eat and do not sleep therefore I gain weight. We get very depressed, stressed, and emotional. We get sad over anything that reminds us of that person. Sometimes we feel betrayed, disappointed, and let down. We try to figure out what went wrong or what we could have done better. We become very distant and withdraw ourselves from almost everything which doesn’t help. It can take months for us to heal but as time goes by, we learn to accept it, and that often motivates us to do better for ourselves. Everyone is different, but I find my strength in God and music. It’s tough and some days are worse than others, but It helps to stay optimistic and focus on the future.
I’ve noticed that people around us don’t always understand why we hurt as bad. A simple “You deserve better, why you crying over someone who did you wrong, stop stressing over him/her, move on with your life” is not going to help. Another thing to NOT do is forcing us to go on dates or trying to hook us up with someone else. At that time our feelings are so invested in that particular person that we are not interested in anyone else. If we do go on dates for the sake of it, it won’t be genuine, and it’ll be difficult for us to connect. Matter of fact, a date often brings back memories of that person because that’s who we envisioned our life with; therefore it doesn’t help. Yes, It’s true that we have to accept things and move on. Yes, we can’t sweat over people who doesn’t care about us and we deserve better, BUT all that is easier said than done, and it takes time. When situations like that occur, it’s best to simply be there for that person. You can be there to listen, to spend time with them, and most importantly pray for them. You can encourage them to move on but be mindful of their feelings because they are very sensitive at that moment. You have to be patient and also careful with your choice of words because that makes a difference.
Honestly, unless someone has been through such pain, none of that probably make sense. I learn that once your heart has been broken, it will be difficult to love again; but you will always appreciate the ones who genuinely care, and will forever cherish the ones who love you back.
“Love is the most beautiful thing to have, the hardest thing to earn, and the most painful thing to lose” Unknown
Until next time,